Respect and Trust

Last fall I attended a meeting where a talk was given by music composer Philip Glass. As he discussed his career and collaborations with various musicians, he made this provocative observation about those that turned out to be most successful.  “The key to a successful collaboration is trust. Not respect, but trust.  Trust is much harder than respect.”

I think Mr. Glass is on to something.  Most of us tend to give respect liberally because it is not a limited resource.  For example, we feel respect for people we admire because of their abilities, skill, or achievements.  Conversely, those we are not so fond of can still invoke our respect because of their position or the authority they possess. We can even have respect for inanimate things like the power of technology or laws that we need to comply with. 

Trust is different.  We can’t trust things like laws or technology because those things don’t trust us back.  The only thing that can be trusted is another person. Trust is holistic, a collection of feelings that culminate in how we regard an individual or group.  It binds our relationships together and grows only with continued use. 

The trust we have in someone is comprised of our impressions of their character and competence.  Surprisingly, it doesn’t take long for us to create those impressions.  Several studies have shown that people can size up competence and trustworthiness in as little as a quarter of a second based on appearance alone.  Of course more accurate impressions evolve over longer periods of time and with more experiences.  We trust people who trust us, who we perceive to be driven by something other than self-gain, that exhibit willpower and self-control, that get the results we need, and that communicate to us with clarity and resolve.

All of these trust factors play out in our organization every day.  Each of us has an opinion of how much we trust the leaders of the Ministry, our leaders in the Springfield Communities, the people we report to, or the people we work with.  That opinion is dependent on how we are kept in the know, the tolerance and forgiveness we receive for the mistakes we make, the credibility of the words people use, the reliability of their actions, and their openness to our influence.  We may respect their authority or who they are, but trust is built on experiences with them, how we think about them when they are not in our presence. 

You may have a lack of trust in various groups or people within our organization.  It is understandable.  We have gone through tremendous amounts of change during hard times.  Several difficult decisions were made that created disagreement and at times a loss of control.  Of course apologies and reasons for these events don’t forge trust, only time and new experiences can do that.  But trust is necessary.  It has been said that every government must have food, weapons and trust.  If it can’t provide all three, weapons should go first, then food.  Trust must be guarded to the end.  Without trust we cannot stand.  As it is for governments, so it must be for us.  We must rebuild trust that has been lost and become better and stronger in the process of doing so.

Mr. Glass was right.  Trust is much harder than respect but we are not helpless to regain it.  Please help us.  I respect the work that you do and trust that you can help move Mercy forward. You may have ideas I need to hear. If so, email me or reach out on Twitter at @DrScarrow.